Instead of giving a shout out to an awesome woman of the past for this week’s Throwback Thursday, I am actually going to share some marriage advice my fiancé and I were given recently by our friends and family here in Northern Ireland. Seems somewhat fitting as Wivestales is all about wives and it just so happens that I’m about to be one.
Because Janusz and I are getting married in Canada, we held a wee celebration here for all of our close people that can’t make it over for the actual ceremony in August. We had a little wooden box with blank cards in it where people could give us marriage advice or tell us about some funny moments in their marriage, etc. I don’t know why I am surprised, but we came home with some really great stuff! Some serious… some cliche… some cheeky… and some you would never believe came from your seemingly conservative aunt or uncle. Some pieces of advice were given anonymously and some were signed, but hopefully nobody will mind if I share with you the wisdom that was passed on to us.
I’m going to start by embarrassing my future sister-in-law and tell everyone that THIS is the anecdote she chose to give to her little brother before he gets married:
“Marriage is like a deck of cards; in the beginning all you need is a heart and a diamond, but by the end you’ll need a club and a spade.”
Hope you enjoy the rest!
“Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for: companionship, intimacy, friendship, etc. The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you take anything out. There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising – keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.”
“I think you should build a garage instead… you can always back out of it!”
“Never stop dating just because you’re married.”
“It can be easy to say “I love you”. Remember: actions speak louder than words. Never stop surprising each other.”
“Don’t be afraid to show your emotions – share everything with each other.”
“Respect each other. Always be honest no matter what. Don’t try to change each other.”
“It’s ok if there is silence over dinner at restaurants.”
“Have sex in every room!”
“Remember to reconnect during your hard working days.”
“Be kind to each other – Just say YES!”
“Being someone’s first love may be great, but being someone’s last is beyond perfect.”
“A happy marriage begins when we marry someone we love. A marriage blossoms when we love the one we married.”
“Never go to bed on an argument… stay up and fight – it’s more fun.”
“Being married is great… it means you found that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
“Always remember that you are on the same team.”
“Marry someone who can cook – looks fade, hunger doesn’t!”
“Never laugh at your wife’s choices – you are one of them.”
“The trick is not to let people know how weird you really are until it’s too late for them to back out.”
“Marriage is like a pair of knickers – it has its ups and downs.”
“Learn to listen to each other often – we all have our own point of view.”
“Don’t fight. If you have to fight, do it naked.”
“Be prepared! It’s harder than you think!”
“Keep having fun.”
And there you have it. Some (mostly) sound relationship advice from our special ones here in Northern Ireland. Happy Thursday!